A Laughing Sorceress
by MadienOfTheMoonlight17
Summary: Rated M for language, not sexual content. Katt Williams comes to town for a concert and B.B gets the Titans tickets. Can this comedian do what Beastboy has tried to for years? Get Raven to laugh? Has a different ending now!
1. Poor Lil Tink Tink

Teen Titans

A Laughing Sorceress

'Poor Lil Tink Tink'

This story was inspired by Katt Williams. I don't own any copyrights to Katt Williams or Teen Titans. All jokes in this story is property of Katt Williams. The jokes are accurate except for G** Damn and N***r.

"Yo! Guys! Guess what I got!?" shouted an overly excited Beastboy as he ran into the living room of Titans Tower waving something around in his hand.

"No brain?" commented Raven in her signature monotone voice.

"No! For your information, Rae, I got us all tickets to see Katt Williams tonight!" informed the changeling.

"Katt Williams? Isn't he the comedian on Comedy Central that has foul language?" asked Robin raising and eyebrow.

"The one and only!"

"Dude! I can't belive you got those! I thought the show was sold out!" exclaimed Cyborg as he grabbed the tickets from his green friend to inspect them.

"It is. On my way home from the pizza place, I saved this old woman from a mugger. And to thank me, she gave me these tickets. She said her daughter works for the studio and gave her these for free!"

"Awesome! Can we go, Robin!? Please! Please! Please!" begged the tin man.

Robin let out an agrivated sigh and agreed to let the team go.

At 8pm sharp, the Titans stood outside Jump City Ampitheater. Cyborg finally worked the bugs out of the holo-rings so they could go in undercover. The gold bands sat on each Titan's index finger of thier left hand. Victor's robotic armor seemed to dissapear, leaving him with dark skin, a shaved head, and two grey eyes. He wore a light blue polo shirt, black casual pants and sperrys.

Richard's black spikey hair was brushed into a shaggy look. His usual mask was replaced by a pair of dark sunglasses. He wore a black t-shirt with a blue jean jacket, jeans and black converse.

Rachel's once purple hair is now a chocolate brown and her eyes have turned a deep blue. Her usual uniform was replaced by a navy t-shirt that showed a little of her midrif, black jeans with blue pinstripes down the sides and blue Vans.

Garfeild now looks like a normal human with peachy skin, sandy blonde hair and light blue eyes. His fangs have recieded into normal looking teeth and his pointed ears seemed to have rounded out. He wore a dark green football jersey with a darker green athletic jacket, light jeans and red converse.

Kori's once red hair is now a stuble strawberry blonde. Her electric green eyes have been replaced by a lighter version. She wore dark washed jeans, a light pink tanktop and black flipflops.

Beastboy walked up to the ticket booth and produced the 5 tickets.

"You will be in row 3." said the lady.

"Thanks." replied the once green changeling. He grabbed Raven's hand in hisown. Her face went cherry red when she felt his warm hand envelop hers. She was then jerked in the direction of the doors by an eager Beastboy. Starfire, Robin and Cyborg were close behind.

"Why do you like this guy soo much?" asked Raven as she sat next to Beastboy.

"Because, he makes everyday stuff funny. This guy is my role model."

"Your role model is an overly humored african american who loves to curse and talk about drugs?" she asked dryly.

"Yep." he said with a smirk.

"Hush, you two! It's starting." whispered Victor pointing to the stage. A middle aged man around 30 walked onto the stage. He was fairly tall, spiked up hair, earrings, a green velvet jacket, a green tie and pinstriped shirt with grey pants and white tennis shoes.

"Good evening ladies and gentalmen. It's wonderful to be here in Jump City where it's 138 in the day and 34 at night. A pimp don't know what to wear. I'm in the hotel lobby in a fur coat, come swim trunks, timberlands and an umbrella cause I don't know what may happen in this raggity bitch this evening. The world is crazy right now, what is gas? Like 600$ a damn gallon? I don't care how much money you got, gas is just too high. That's all i'm sayin, you shouldn't be at the gas station makin life decisions. You just at the pump like 'Negro did I eat today? I can't get no half a tank, I got 6 cigarettes I just can't even do it.

_**The Titans were laughing subtlely. Raven rolled her eyes thinking it was only midly amusing.**_

"They done messed up the whole gas station experience. Used to be if you had 10 or 15 dollars you could go to the gas station with confidence. Cause you would either be full or damn near full. If you had a 20 you aint even gotta talk to the person at the counter. You like '20 on 11 bitch!'. They done messed up the whole gas station experience. Used to be if you put 15 dollars in your tank you had time to bond with your vehicle. You had time to put the nozzle in, set the clicker, look through your car, and clean off the dash board, and look through your cds and run in the store and get some pringles and a snapple.

And it would still be pumpin.' Now if you put 15 dollars in you can't even turn around good before that son of a bitch clicks. Just as soon as you put it in, like click click! Thier aint no gas in that damn car."

**More laughter from the audience. Raven was finding his antics a little more amusing than before. But only a little bit.**

"The world is out to get these mother fuckers, especially if you a real mother fucker cause these mother fuckers hate real mother fuckers. Like this mother fucker who defied the odds even when they were damn set against him!"

**Beastboy sat on the edge of his seat along with Cyborg as he listened to the foul mouthed comedian. **

"There was a white boy who ran track for a mother fuckin livin. He ran track for a mother fuckin livin. And he lost both his mother fuckin legs. Now I hate loosers and quiters but if you run track for a mother fuckin livin and you loose both your mother fuckin legs you ought to be allowed to sit this mother fucker out. You have done everything there was for you to do."

**Beastboy and Cyborg were rolling in laughter.**

"And this mother fucker own some gangster shit, cause not only was he gonna walk again, this mother fucker was gonna race again. Cause you gotta be in tune with your star fuckin player to pull this shit off. They made him some aluminum racin legs and shit. That looked like bent back paper clips and shit."

The audiance exploded with laughter and screams.

"Don't be tryin to act like somethings wrong with me. Some of you mother fuckers saw the story. You know what the fuck i'm talkin bout. It looked like bent back paper clips. Like two baby boomerangs and shit. that's what he had to run on.'

**Beastboy was laughing soo hard he was crying. Raven wanted to laugh, but knew the consequenses if she did. Robin giggled quietly to himself as Starfire looked on in curiosity. She had no idea what Katt was talking about.**

"This mother fucker had to be in tune with his fuckin star player. Cause sometimes mother fuckers wont' have your back like you think you should. And now this mother fucker has to come in on his alumninum racin legs and race again. And he had to come in all calm and smooth and not draw too much attention to himself."

**Katt jogged slowly from one end of the stage to the other and with every step he took, he would say, tink tink tink.'**

Once again, the air was filled with uncontrollable laughter.

"Yeah this mother fucker fuckin winning this shit. Yeah, you gotta go over thier and sign up first before you race. Oh, ok mother fucker."

_**He jogged again to the other side of the stage 'tink tink tink'**_

"Yeah, they say I gotta sign up first. It's no sign up at all? Tink tink tink.

Mother fuckers at the starting line, these mother fuckers doin all kinds of unnessesary exercises with thier legs and shit. On your mark!"

_**He started to jump around and doing crazy stunts with his legs.**_

"And the craziest fuckin thing happened. Not only did this mother fucker start runnin, this mother fucker started winning. And you know a hater can't stand a g** damn winner. And the last place you wanna be in a mother fuckin foot race, is behind the mother fucker with no g** damn foots."

**Laughter from the audiance.**

"I bet them mother fuckers were mad as shit."

**He started to jog in place.**

"My legs tired aint your legs tired. His legs aint tired, he just... tink tink tink tink. Just paper clips and sparks everywhere. Tink tink tink."

"But you gonna have to be in tune with your star fuckin player cause these haters do not play fair. These hating ass mother fuckers at the limping commitie let this mother fucker race, and then waited till he won and then disqualified him and said and I quote, 'he had an unfair advantage.'"

**Laughter. He then held his hand up to signal to the audiance thier was more he had to say.**

"Are you talking about the mother fucker running with no g** damn legs? Is that who the fuck you talkin bout? Poor lil tink tink. Think about that when you think you havin a bad g** damn day. Poor lil tink tink aint that a bitch."

**With this last statement, the first act was over. **

"Ok, that had to be the single most appaling thing i've ever seen." complained Raven getting up from her seat for the first intermission.

"Oh, come on Rae! I saw you smirk when he said 'Bent back paper clips.' " laughed Beastboy.

Raven gave him one of her famous 'death glares'.

"Please, what earth slang was he using?" asked Starfire innocently.

"I'll explain later, Star." replied Robin.

"Hey, it's back on." said Cyborg sitting back down.

"Too much mother fuckin shit goin on is my mother fuckin problem. Thiers too much fuckin shit goin on. They supposed to be putting medicine in america to help mother fuckers feel better and help them live better. They don't give a damn about the medicine they just out makin their mother fuckin money.

They give you one medication supposed to fix some shit, and the side effects, fuck up your leg and shit, and they give you another one to fix that and it fuck up your arm. Now you on two medications looking like a flamingo in front of your mother fuckin children and shit. These mother fuckers don't give a fuck!

**Raven let out a small laugh, but noticed her hands had started to glow. Panicing, she tried to refrain from laughing anymore.**

"They say one month, this is the best medicine ever! It'll cure everything! But then 3 months later, you hear this quiet ass commercial. 'Have you or one of your loved ones been killed by using our medicine? Call 1800 our bad that's 1800 our bad."

**Raven found it difficult to stop giggling. But she refused to let her powers go out of control.**

"These mother fuckers don't give a fuck. Weed is still illegal and all their shit is still fucked up. Thier medication either don't work. Or it work too fuckin good and I wasn't familiar with working too good.

I've got a 7 year old son, this mug run every g** damn day. Thats what the fuck he do. You aint gotta chase 'em, you aint gotta train 'em, you aint gotta put shorts on 'em. This mug is ready every morning. As soon as his foot touch the g** damn ground out the bed, shoo! That mug is gone for the rest of the g** damn day. Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! You either see e'm like this or like that. That's your only two options."

**He took a running pose to the left and then jumped to a running pose on the right.**

"And he be happy as shit! Now the nurse at the school say, she say, it's not healthy. And I say you don't understand the mug is happy. She said, no no, you don't understand, wether he's happy or not, it's not healthy. And I said, what do you want me to do? I can't put the mug in trouble for bein happy!"

**Laughter from the audiance.**

"Mug stop bein happy and get in here and be miserable! I can't fuckin do it, so I say, what do you recommend? And she recommended riddlin. She told me the shit was gonna even him out. Now, either I don't know what the fuck even means, or riddlin got crack cocaine in it one of the two, it's a g** damn fact. Cause this shit is no bull shit."

**Laughter**

"I wasn't ready, he wasn't ready. This shit caught both of us off gaurd. I gave the mug the shit in the kitchen, he was on his way to his room, that mug never even made it out the hallway. That shit caught that mug in mid stride."

**He took a running start and then fell flatt on his butt looking around like he didn't know where he was accompanied by laughter.**

**(Raven sat gripping the arm rests of her chair to try and refrain from laughing like Beastboy in his hiena form.)**

"Now for the first 2 hours I was happy as shit. I was gettin shit done, I was like this is wonderful. And after 3 hours, you got to go check on the mug now after 3 hours."

**He starts to walk toward the middle of the stage where he 'fell' and leaned over.**

"Mug what you doin? My kid's a smartass, 'i'm bein good like you wanted daddy!' Touche my mug, touche touche. This is what fuck me up, I was like you've been sittin their for 3 hours, what are you thinkin about? That mug said, Runnin!"

**insane laughter.**

By this time, the Titans were rolling in laughter, except for Starfire who didn't understand most of what was said, and Raven who was almost in tears, she wanted to laugh soo bad.


	2. Get You Some White and Latino Friends!

Teen Titans

A Laughing Sorceress

Get You Some White and Spanish Friends!

The second intermission gave Raven enough time to calm down from her almost laughing fit. Robin stayed seated trying to explain to Starfire the 'words' Katt was using while Cyborg and Beastboy went to the bathroom, laughing about what they just saw. With a few deep breaths, Raven felt the urge to laugh subside. For now.

10 minutes later, Katt Williams came back on stage.

"Go out and get you some white friends! Get you some white mother fuckin friends! You aint gotta sleep with em but you gonna need them mother fuckers. If you go to jail and you call your black friends, they gonna interrogate you more than the g** damn police did!"

**Immitated a black person talking on the phone.**

"They gonna have your ass on the phone, like where the fuck was you at? What the fuck was you doin? Why the fuck you call me?"

**Raven suddenly felt the urge to laugh come back and this time it was harder to contain.**

"Not your white friends. Them mother fuckers will be thier by the time you hang up the phone and they'll be madder than you. They be like..."

**Immitated a white person talking to a policeman.**

"What the fuck did he do? Murder? Murdered who?! Look, i've known him for two fuckin weeks, he wouldn't fuckin do something like that!"

**More laughter mainly from the male Titans.**

"You gotta love white people. I don't care what the fuck you say, white people are friendly. You can call them up at 3 in the mornin with the wrong number and they won't even be mad at you."

**Immitated a white man on the phone**

"Hello? No, i'm sorry, no Shaquita here. What number did you dial? No, it's a 9 not a 7. Just try it and if it don't work, call me back, we'll figure this thing out!"

**Crowd explodes with laughter.**

"Gotta love white people. It's thanks to white people that we know anything about wild animals. Never in the history of negro-dom have a black person discovered a wild animal, not one! Not a wild pit bull, nothing! Cause we too cautious. We don't discover shit! We don't get close enough. Cause we too cautious. We too cautious. We be like, hey mother fucker is that a rotwhiler or a bear? Fuck that, just go, just go!"

**Tears flowed down Raven's face as she pursed her lips together in a feeble attempt to stop the flow of sound.**

"White people, let me say this, you need to get you some black friends too. Just don't ever ever call em your n***r friends. That will fuck the relationship up."

**Immitated a white person.**

"Hey, theirs my n***r friend!"

**He hit himself over the head with his microphone until he was down on the ground.**

"You guys say it all the time, what?"

"White people you need your black friends so they can tell you when shit is not appropriate. First of all white people, please stop puttin them little blue leashes on your children. Please do not do that! That is only entertainment for us. We be happier than a mother fucker so see you walk by..."

**Got down on his knees and pointed.**

"Just look at em, look at em!"

**He burst into laughter along with the Titans (Minus Raven who was on the verge of going insane) and the audiance.**

"That's why white kids grow up and kill everybody in the whole g** damn school. Cause you done treated them like German shepards since they were 3! They be like..."

**Started running like a little kid wanting candy.**

"Ooh! I want that!..."

**Jerks himself back while getting wrapped up in the mic chord.**

_**laughter. Raven looks as if she could burst at any moment, even Starfire was rolling in laughter, suddenly finding his antics funny.**_

"Look at Negros laughing like we know what the fuck to do with our kids. We don't know what to do with our kids. We dont know what to do with our kids neither, look I know all comics come on stage and say you need to beat your kids, but as a father let me just say publicly maybe we need to stop beatin' our kids...publicly."

**More laughter**

"We are tired of goin to the grocery store to see you beat your mother fuckin babies. Maybe your baby aint bad bitch, maybe you just a bad mother, did you ever think of that you retarded mother fucker?! That is a toddler! Your baby supposed to like skittles you ignorant bitch!! Justa as soon as your baby touch the skittles..."

**Tipped over a stool near him and started kicking it across the stage.**

"What did I tell your mother fuckin' ass?! What did I say in the car, bitch!? What did I say in the mother fuckin car?! White people be like 'you can't do that''Bitch your next!'"

**Got up and grabbed the stool sitting it back upright.**

"But we need to stop with the racist shit! Just negros? Fuck that!Where the spanish people at?"

Some people in the audiance raised their hands.

"We'd like to thank the 17 of yall for comming. We know most of you mother fuckers roll together. You mother fuckers are efficent! You ever seen some of them mother fuckers come to the club? Their be 39 of them mother fuckers in the same car."

**He started jumping off a stool and running around it and getting back on and jumping off repeadedly. **

"Bitch that is a Ford Focus, how many mother fuckers is in thier?!"

**Raven let a small sound escape and her powers started to swirl around her, causing some people in the audiance to stare and wonder what was going on.**

"But you need your spanish friends. Don't nobody party like them mother fuckers. No body in the world party like them mother fuckers. Cause they don't need shit that mugs need. They don't need invitations, or streamers or balloons or nothing. All they need is a front yard and some mother fuckin Carrona. Mugs can't even go to thier party cause they dont' never end. You been having a party for the last 3 and a half mother fuckin months. You just got mugs in thier hostage."

**He started dancing around tiredly.**

"I wanna go home!"

**More sound started to escape from Raven's mouth, this time, whipping Beastboy upside the head with a dark auora. He turned to see his best friend and secret crush, red in the face with tears streaming down her face with her hands clenched tightly over her mouth. He then started to think if it was such a good idea to try to get her to laugh after all.**

"Spanish people you need to get you some black friends so they can tell you when shit is not appropriate. We are tired of goin to the laundry mat to see you in thier, your baby girl is all of 7 years old and she be wearing a wedding dress and soccer shoes. WHERE THE FUCK IS SHE GOING?! IS SHE MARRYING BLEACH!?"  
**More and more of Raven's powers started to cause disruptions. Robin caught on to what was going on and started to panic.**

_"This can not end well." he thought._

"All i'm sayin spanish people is that if you are pusing a stroller though the mall, and your childs feet can touch the ground out the stroller, LET LIL ESSEY WALK THEN! THIS MOTHER FUCKER IS 13 G** DAMN YEARS OLD WITH A CIGARETTE AND A SIDEKICK!"

**That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Raven exploaded in laughter with her powers distroying every solid object they touched. People ran for the exits before they could be struck. Katt was finally aware of the lauging sorceress and decided this would be a good time to 'haul ass' outta thier!**

Raven lay on the floor of the theater with her hands around her waist rolling in laughter.

_"Damn, if I knew I wasn't gonna die right now, i'd be laughing with her!" thought the green changeling to himself dodging outbursts of black magic._

After about 10 minutes, Raven finally calmed down to where the Titans could get close enough to her.

"Are you alright, Rae?" asked Beastboy helping her up.

"Yeah, i'm fine." she said giggling.

"Wow, I didnt' know what you laughing could do." said a shocked Cyborg.

"I told you I can't feel emotion without serious consequenses."

"Well, I guess from now on, we'll just have to take you at your word." repiled Robin who was hand in hand with Starfire.

Raven then looked down to see that her laughing fit had short circuted her holo-ring and she was now back in her normal costume.

"I guess thiers no use in these anymore." Beastboy said pulling his ring off to reveal his green skin, messy green hair and emerald eyes.

"It was sweet of you, Beastboy, to get these tickets in an atempt to get me to laugh, but as i've told you before, my emotions are linked, so the more I feel, the more energy is released."

Beastboy scratched the back of his head sheepishly.

"Sorry. It's just i've liked you for soo long and I was willing to do anything to get you to have a little fun, but I suppose I carried it too far." A small shade of pink dusting his green cheeks.

"That was awfully sweet of you." said the sorceress kissing him on the cheek. His whole face turned red.

"That was awesome! Except for the whole 'Raven power fit'." laughed Cyborg. Raven's face went red with embarrasment as she suddenly realized she had distroyed the theater. What powers she haden't used up, shot forth knocking Cyborg into some rubble.

"I suppose as the Katt Williams referred to, 'aint that a bitch." laughed Starfire. The Titans exploded in laughter while Raven stood with her usual emotionless face.

"That wasn't funny." she said in a monotoned voice.

Tell me what you think! I thought it was hilarious. I was laughing while I typed this! :)


End file.
